


Barcade

by yikesola



Series: wlw-dnp [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2019, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:02:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22228336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: It’s been… a while, since Dani and Phoebe let loose like this. Since they got drunk without a worry for the morning’s guaranteed headache. Since they knew tomorrow wouldn’t involve a show, or travel, or a video, or family.A fic about performance and familiar cities.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: wlw-dnp [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323749
Comments: 16
Kudos: 53





	Barcade

It’s been… a while, since they let loose like this. Since they got drunk without a worry for the morning’s guaranteed headache. Since they knew tomorrow wouldn’t involve a show, or travel, or a video, or family. 

Christmas surrounded by relatives is a different kind of performance than a stage show or a gaming channel video— it’s less strained, it’s less exhausting, but it is still having to be _on_. Having to smile. Having to not argue, even when your parents painfully parody their generation or even when your brother (older and business-minded, or younger and fully vegan) says something stupid. 

Rest, surely, because a holiday is always more restful than work. But still a performance. 

And what they’re doing right now, this January pilgrimage to Manchester, it’s just the kind of letting loose Dani and Phoebe almost never let themselves indulge in. They usually can't; they can’t let go of that _control_. For a myriad of reasons. 

But tonight, they do. 

Tonight as they scamper down the pavements of a city they used to call home, giggling along with Ian and Lauren, winding up at a video game bar + arcade (“oh, a barcade!” Phoebe giggles when it hits her, “what will they portmanteau next…”) where their inner children rejoice at the video games and their outer adults rejoice at the libations— they give the reigns pulled tightly around their images and their lives just the slightest bit of slack, and it’s exactly what they needed. 

The tour felt longer than the months it technically took to complete. It felt like it took years, nearly ten years really, culminating into wherever it was they’ve landed. 

An era of intended authenticity. And whatever the hell that means. 

Change… for the better, always for the better. It was for the better for Dani to see a therapist and it was for the better for them to move to London and it was for the better for Phoebe to give in and say, “Fuck,” on camera even if she only did it once and it was like pulling teeth the entire time. 

And now they’re here. It’s not a change to be in Manchester visiting Ian. But it is a change to know they don’t have to rush to film gaming videos as soon as they’re back home. And it is a change to be unsure just when Dani’s next video will be posted at all, and if it will actually be that June video she had thought it would be. And it’s most definitely a change for Dani to watch Phoebe with a little extra worry in her eye ever since the early morning a few weeks back when she heard her calling her name after passing out twice on the bathroom floor. 

Dani can feel the little extra worry, like an itch or maybe what she imagines contacts feel like. She wouldn’t know; perfect vision privilege and all that.

She hasn’t watched Phoebe with so much worry since the last time Phoebe pushed herself a little too far… since TATINOF and performing dehydrated with a raging fever, a show in a venue Phoebe says she can’t properly remember even to this day. 

But to not perform would’ve been fragile. It would’ve been a weakness that they aren’t allowed to show. 

There would’ve been jokes in the more unkind corners of the internet that she must’ve been on her period, or simply didn’t want to perform because she’s a coldhearted bitch— that Dani and Phoebe are just two slags shilling out to an audience that either wants to fuck them or imagine them fucking. And once they got their money, why not cancel a few shows just because they feel like having a night off? Just because they’re “sick” or because “the venue wouldn’t work with them” or because “customs wouldn’t allow the set through” and pay no never mind to the fact that refunds would be granted to every cancelled show. It goes against the narrative those in the unkind corners have already built up in their heads. 

Phoebe couldn’t give those unkind voices any reason to gloat. So TATINOF didn’t have a single health-related cancellation. 

And neither did Interactive Introverts, even if Phoebe was 31 this time around, and fading in the days after the LA show was filmed. Even if she sat down more than scripted for the Pacific Northwest shows. Even if the weeks in Australia saw her sleeping like the dead whenever they weren’t out playing tourist. 

So now Dani watches her with worried eyes. It’s a form of caring. She cares about Phoebe so goddamn much. 

But tonight Dani’s eyes forget to be worried. And it’s nice— both hers and Phoebe’s eyes sparkle with laughter and it’s so nice. 

*

Phoebe fails at a driving game. Ian dominates at whack-a-mole. Lauren makes a decent showing at Space Invaders. Dani hops on DDR and it unlocks that deep muscle memory she had developed years and years ago for the game. Phoebe cheers her on as she dances. Dani catches her eye when she dares to look away from the screen between songs, and winks. 

Later when they're getting new, sweet cocktails, Phoebe grabs her hand under the bar. She squeezes tightly. Dani doesn’t understand how such a simple touch thrills her after all these years, except she supposes because it’s in public. 

As they walk back to Ian’s place, the January night air cool on all their sweaty faces, Dani soaks in the distinct feeling of being in Manchester. 

In many ways she still thinks of it as her city, even if she only spent a few years there. 

It’s where she first met Phoebe, where she first lived with Phoebe. It’s where they tasted the first little bit of internet success. It’s where she learned she didn’t have to be who she was in Wokingham forever. It's where she learned she’s never gonna be a lawyer. 

It’s also where she started to fear the many, many eyes on her. Where she started to distrust her own ability to be authentic. Where she spent a lot of nights crying herself to sleep, or not sleeping at all. 

It’s a city filled with a lot of growing pains. Which means a lot of growth. 

And all of that included, she loves visiting. She loves being back here. She loves the feeling that washes over her and Phoebe when they do— that feeling of being so young and so in love and just a little crazy because of it. 

It’s that feeling that has Dani wrapping an arm around Phoebe’s waist as the four of them stumble their way the final few blocks back. It’s that feeling that has Phoebe leaning on Dani’s shoulder and biting at her earlobe in the lift despite Ian and Lauren’s teasing.

*

“I love you” Phoebe says, and the hot breath between Dani’s legs is so good it’s maddening. “I love you,” she says again. “I love you, I love you, I love you…” 

Dani’s ready to break something— anything! “Shut up and eat me, you drunken sap,” she laughs around a groan, twisting her fingers tighter in Phoebe’s hair. _God_ she’s so fucking grateful that Phoebe cut her hair. 

They maybe shouldn’t be doing this in Ian’s spare room. They’re maybe rotten houseguests. They definitely should be quieter if they’re going to do it at all. 

Right now, Dani really doesn’t give a fuck. 

They’ve both already come once, and managed to be moderately quiet about it. Now, their restraint is slipping. 

Phoebe groans when Dani tugs on her hair. “Harder,” she asks, looking up. 

Dani tugs. Phoebe groans again. Dani sees Phoebe’s right hand slip into her pants, while the left is holding firmly onto Dani’s hip. Dani tugs once more. 

Phoebe muffles her sounds by putting her mouth back to work on Dani. But she’s always had a better grip on her sounds. It’s Dani, through the buzz of alcohol and the buzz of exhaustion and the buzz of how fucking good this all feels, who has a hard time remembering to stay quiet. When she comes, she turns and buries her head in the pillow beside her. 

Phoebe climbs up Dani’s body to hover over her. She kisses her, and Dani can taste herself and the gin they’ve both been drinking all night on her tongue. 

Dani moves her thigh between Phoebe's legs, and the soaked patch on her pants rubs against her. She gets one tired hand to tug on one of Phoebe's nipples and threads the other hand again through Phoebe's hair. They keep kissing and Dani swallows Phoebe's cry of her name when she comes.

They catch their breath. They feel good and sated and fucking spent. They’re tired, and they feel they’ve earned the right to be tired. 

They’re going to sleep in late tomorrow. They’re gonna craft with Emily and play with the dog and all four adults will eat delicious greasy food to combat the inevitable hangovers. Then the next day Dani and Phoebe will be on the train south, back to the city that is their city now, away from the city that once was their city. And the letting loose will be over but damn, what a way to start the year.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/190218642534/barcade) !


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